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This article has originally appeared on Rebelle Society – December 16, 2013.

I have written before about my tendency towards restlessness, and my natural capacity and desire for movement and change – I have accepted that my life was never going to be ‘normal’ or conventional and I have gotten to know, embraced and cherished my inner crazy.

I have always been strong willed, even when I was a small child – ‘no’ just wasn’t an option. Tell me not to do something and I’ll most certainly do it. Tell me I can’t do something, and I’ll try to prove you wrong. This streak of rebellion has always been with me, like a secret power always urging me to take the risk, do what others were afraid of doing. I’ve always gained a strange satisfaction from change; the more exciting or unusual the better.

It was not until later on in life that I learned that this desire for change and a perpetual ‘searching’ for something larger than I had control over, was in fact my quest for my unique offering to the world. I had begun my journey to discover my dharma; My truth.

I believe we are all called to offer our unique gifts to the world – an idea originally proposed in the ancient Indian sacred song – the Bhagavad Gita, which contains a discussion between Krishna and the Indian hero, Arjuna on human nature and the purpose of life. Contained within this dialogue was a deep profound message that our quest for dharma (Sanskrit for ‘duty’) was essential in understanding our eternal soul’s purpose and therefore finding true meaning in our place here on earth.

I am fascinated by this, somewhat romantic notion, that each of us has their own unique dharma and our duty is to offer our special ‘gift’ to give to the world. I believe that listening to our hearts and connecting to our highest self will lead us to discover exactly what gift each of us carries inside us, and with guidance, how to offer it to the world.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ~ Anais Nin

Sometimes its hard to know that you are on the right path; and its not always easy to dedicate your life to your soul’s destiny, and instead we get stuck, our minds try to find reasons for that which our hearts cry out against, and we settle.

Sure, it’s safer and easier to follow the path set by others before, we can see it worked for them – they went on to lead respectable, risk-free lives. But what if we veer off the predestined path, enter the unknown and stumble into the undergrowth, to follow our dharma? What if that might lead us to something wonderful?

Surely the road less traveled, is always the road we should choose because we are therefore leading, not following. We are the pioneers of our own unique journey, we fly the flag for freedom and expression. We search for truth.

At the beginning of this year I decided to set off around the world, and travel. I have spent the last 10 months experiencing life from a completely new perspective. I have had experiences that have blown my mind and I have lost and found myself countless times.

I have learnt more about myself than I ever had done before I set off on my journey – I have seen parts of me that are good, bad, amazing and ugly and I am consistently humbled by the self reflection and inspiration born from my encounters with  the people I meet, the places I visit and the paths I’ve explored.

I live outside of acceptable and beyond limitation – I don’t care for normality, I don’t crave stability. I seek movement, I desire change. I’m filled with burning passion to experience life as fully and as madly as I can and I’ll always, always follow my heart. I am constantly evolving, learning, growing — life is a series of adventures tied together with the thread of friendship, experiences, lessons and love.

I am listening to my heart, I am noticing the subtle ebb and flow of my life as it unfolds before my eyes. I am open to change, I am vulnerable to the call of my soul but above all I have absolute faith in where I am going.

I am a firm believer in noticing synchronicities and letting them guide you on your path — noticing ‘signs’ directing you in a certain way can be magical in transforming your life. I also believe people come into your life for a reason, and that chance encounters can change your world.

Keep your mind and heart open to possibilities and change, it could lead you to where you want to be or what you want to do.

My writing has been my one constant throughout my life. It is my solace, my comfort; my home is where my pen is. It soothes my soul and lights my inner fire. I believe this to be my gift and for that I am truly grateful.

I want, however I can, through my writing, to inspire people, I want to reassure people that it is okay to live outside of society’s expectations and that it’s more than okay to be a little different. I want to inspire people to take a leap of faith and dive into the unknown…

“There is a certain kind of action that leads to freedom and fulfillment,” Krishna begins. “A certain kind of action that is always aligned with our true nature.”

“This is the action that is motivated by dharma. This is the action taken in the service of our sacred calling, our duty, our vocation. In dharma, it is possible to take passionate action without creating suffering. It is possible to find authentic fulfillment of all human possibilities.”


~ Stephen Cope, The Great Work Of Your Life

Within every person on this earth lies their unique gift and the resources to lavish it upon the world.

Try new things, take risks, throw caution to the wind. Live fearlessly, live passionately, get out there and experience the world, meet new people, try new things. Dream big, be creative, be inspired.

You won’t find or unlock your gift by wishing you knew what it was, you have to be ravenous for the truth, you have to trust your heart and you have to be guided by its wisdom.

People often say to me, “How do you live the life you do?” I say, I have to live this life because there is no other way for me. Sure, sometimes I wish I could be the kind of person that could stay and feel that safety in settling, but the pull of my inner instinct and my calling to follow my heart to whatever it is I am being drawn to, is too strong to ignore.

I’ve always been lead by this tangible force that is stronger than my rational mind. I am not afraid by the unknown or the mystery of the future, in fact it excites me. I become alive and I pulse with the electrifying rhythm of life when I‘m following my truth.

“There was nowhere to go but everywhere, so just keep on rolling under the stars.” ~ Jack Kerouac

Anaïs Nin and Jack Kerouac are my heroes both in the literary sense and also in the way they lived their lives… Both said ‘screw you’ to convention. They believed that settling in a society that tries its hardest to control and restrict was the greatest death.

I see myself in their chaos and passion and I am inspired every day by those who refuse to accept anything less than extraordinary, who blindly follow their heart because there is no other way, because the world needs the gift of their courage.

“I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I cannot transform into something marvellous, I let go. Reality doesn’t impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.” ~ Anais Nin

So I ask you, what is it that is whispering to you in the depths of your heart and soul? What do you want to do more of? What are you passionate about? What is your unique gift you could you give to the world? And what is holding you back?

“Be the change you wish to see in the world” ~ Mahatma Ghandi

If you can’t travel, If you have families or loved ones and a life set up, then what can you do more of that makes you happy?

To follow your heart’s calling doesn’t have to mean necessarily to travel or move, but it does mean to listen more to your heart’s wishes, that little niggle inside that you’ve pushed and shoved until its muffled requests are barely audible. Take some time to breathe and listen again; Whatever it is you wish you could do,  it’s not too late. Set your passion on fire; inspire and thrive!

We only have one life – and that life is short, and it is racing by… So please, listen to your soul’s calling and take a chance, see the world, or make a change, even a small one. Unlock your gift to the world and do more of what makes your soul sing.

You won’t regret it.

“Live, travel, adventure, bless, and don’t be sorry.” ~ Jack Kerouac



This article has originally appeared on Rebelle Society – December 16, 2013.

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One Response to On Searching, Rebellion, and Finding Your Gift

  1. Ann Mullen says:

    Nichole, I, too, believe in synchronicity and can’t believe I was supposed to find you today. You let me borrow the quality article you wrote last January for my client’s ISOCert Solutions blog. I know you are on a roadtrip and might not look at this comment for some time if ever. I hope you do.

    I have been dealing with being told that I am “not normal” psychologically and I have just learned that I am just right for me and that I am not alone on my journey. Like you whenever I try to be something besides who I am, I can’t maintain it very long. I wondered what was wrong with me.

    I learned about all this from Kathy Kolbe. I am not selling her product and won’t get a kickback for sharing it, but what you call learning from your heart, she calls instinct and going with your gut. Enjoying chaos is a product of a conative (look it up) part of something you and I share in our make up called Quick Start. I see it all over this article.

    Here are some things you probably do:

    Your best way of dealing with risks/uncertainty is by Improvising. For instance you might:
    • Create a sense of urgency
    • Initiate change
    • Improvise solutions
    • Promote experimentation
    • Negotiate shortcuts
    • Promote new opportunities
    • Initiate innovation
    • Originate options
    • Generate slogans
    • Defy the odds
    • Ad lib stories and presentations

    You probably have been stressed out by having to:
    • Conform
    • Avoid potential risks
    • Stick to the script
    • Work toward known outcomes
    • Edit your many ideas

    If I have gotten your attention, you might like to look into discovering other of your conative strengths by going to

    I have learned that it is OK for me to hate housework and that I am not lazy because of it. I don’t have much of a knack for follow-through. I have learned I probably am not bipolar. I naturally get excited when I am following my passion and bored into depression when I am trying to do something that doesn’t interest me.

    As I read Kolbe’s book, “Conative Connection”, I realized how OK I really am. One thing I learned is that there are many right paths and what works for me most certainly won’t be right at all for someone else (like my boss).

    I hope this will further you along your path with the realization that you don’t need to justify yourself to anyone. However, because you are a super teacher you naturally want to help others along their paths and can only do that by sharing who you are. And what a blessing that is from a Chief Sorceress to the rest of us.

    Thank you.

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